I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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