remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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