do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
don't judge my taste in strippers
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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