is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
