so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
