Will you blow on my dice?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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