Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
