I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
