This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
