I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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