He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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