the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
