i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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