stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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