So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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