I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I lost the right to judge tonight
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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