Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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