you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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