WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize