can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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