fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
