Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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