i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize