Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
