fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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