will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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