i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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