She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
