i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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