he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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