how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
