Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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