Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
