Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
