I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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