I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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