Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
