Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

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(816): View more from Missouri

at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?

Fav 13 3612 1265
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(970): View more from Colorado

Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty

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(219): View more from Indiana

ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...

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(517): View more from Michigan

This baby is an asshole

Fav 11 2252 1150
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

(406): View more from Montana

Midwestern nice.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Why is there a whip in the kitchen?

Fav 3 59 5
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