shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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