I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
bring money and cleavage
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
