Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
