i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize