normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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