Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
