forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
