My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.