Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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  (763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1
  Replies (1) Good night (1835) Bad night (703)
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  (661): View more from California

  Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.

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  (661): Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times. http://tfl.nu/sk4n
  Replies (19) Good night (895) Bad night (3920)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2689) Bad night (634)
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  (619): View more from California

  He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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  (619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting. http://tfl.nu/l79o
  Replies (58) Good night (1000) Bad night (3782)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?

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  (703): I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans? http://tfl.nu/gwsp
  Replies (19) Good night (4018) Bad night (820)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

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  (712): Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it. http://tfl.nu/8ikj
  Replies (35) Good night (1956) Bad night (5233)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

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  (803): I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on http://tfl.nu/5tgi
  Replies (43) Good night (9741) Bad night (1171)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.

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  (734): I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again. http://tfl.nu/x69l
  Replies (24) Good night (1484) Bad night (5388)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.

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  (816): I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste. http://tfl.nu/fckj
  Replies (32) Good night (5706) Bad night (1069)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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  (+44): you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck? http://tfl.nu/szfq
  Replies (9) Good night (1896) Bad night (735)
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  (845): View more from New York

  also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm

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  (845): also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm http://tfl.nu/66ib
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (1260)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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  (215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a
  Replies (4) Good night (1277) Bad night (453)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.

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  (570): A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5. http://tfl.nu/uyai
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (411)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?

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  (541): I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had? http://tfl.nu/he5w
  Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (334)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen

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  (253): The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen http://tfl.nu/uzjk
  Replies (0) Good night (198) Bad night (594)

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