Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'

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(503): View more from Oregon

when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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(941): View more from Florida

Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.

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(585): View more from New York

My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today

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