For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.