Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
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I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to