he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dicks are not precious.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
