Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
