Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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