It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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