y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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