i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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