i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
