Welp...herpes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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