I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
