So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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