I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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