too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I've blown a few things in my day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
