Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
