Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
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Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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