I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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