My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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