You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
