my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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