I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
