Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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