ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
