Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
